On a poll i did a while back i asked what you guys were wanting from me...
More PC walls was the answer.

So you got it. and there are more coming. I will flood your inbox but you will get over it.

Teehee...

Otherwise its going so-so. verging on not great.
Such is life.

Hi guys... long time no write...

happy 2013 and all that. Hope you all have a wonderful and prosperous new year.

Also i brought myself a Galaxy sIII with my bonus... its freaking awesome!... hence the new walls...

This is just a shout out to for my new ava... WOOOO!!! its awesome...thanks man!

So yeah... i have a had a pretty hard month. Someone that was rather close to me turned out to a huge fraud and pathological liar and got me into extremely big trouble.
I have not really felt like doing walls...
but there are two new ones up so i hope they are usable!

Ok...

i have run every antivirus, anti malware known to man and have found nothing. Also the phantom uploads has stopped uploading all the time but it does seem according to Rainmeter that short bursts happen now and again...

My internet speed has returned to normal. and my download speed and cpu usage and stuff are all normal....

Someone suggested a good firewall. I am currently using the windows one.

Can you guys maybe suggest a better one. I had Comodo but somehow a virus hijacked it and it caused no ends of problems and i had to reformat my pc. So Comodo is out for me.

Ok... this morning when i switched on my pc everything was fine.

When i came back from town.. not so much.

Now my pc is constantly uploading and downloading things. Even though i am not currently downloading things. I tried to download something but my download speed is the half of what it should be.  My brother who uses the same router as i do (we have a small network at home) has no such problem with his internet.

I am ran Malwarebytes and my antivirus and found nothing. Because my 1st was malware or similar things.

Firewall is on.

Can someone please help me sort this out. Its messing with my internet speed and things.

Good Grief,

Stash is shit to use when you upload.  the preview image never loads correctly. I always have to load it 2 or 3 times before it actually decides to stick.

Next time I have a lot of stuff to load i will use normal upload. It takes longer but at least i am sure it freakin' works...(hear that DA?)

I felt so bad about my Because Minecraft journal...

I opened PS and lo and behold  ----->    New WALLPAPER...

There has been an abscence of Walls and things. I haven't even opened PS in a while.

because why?


because this -  

Ok Firstly...

There is a new wallpaper.. ZOMG!!! that only took like 2/3 weeks..
Also i posted some new Iphone Cases here [link]
And there is a new Texture Pack as well..


Ok.. I need help with the following. I don't know how many of you will know who Drizzt Du'Orden  or Guenwhyvar is but i made some walls of them (minimal style).
What i am not sure is if i should post them in packs.

I have made previews and put them in my stash.  Please look at them and tell me yay or nay.

Drizzt : [link]

Guenwhyvar : [link]

Also on this whole Kony/LRA thing making the rounds on DA... Yeah...Africa is not a nice place. No matter what MSM tells you.

So...

I have opened a RedBubble account... [link]

and i have posted my 1st Iphone case... [link]

i am not sure if i should put some other stuff up as prints...

I might even post a new wall today... here is hoping for the best...

So... yeah... i am so stressed out at this point i cannot even force myself to open PS much less make something pretty to give you guys.. I am sorry...

I am broke... cannot pay any of my commitments

Still have not received ant callback from De Beers... so i think i am not going to get that one.. that's the one thing about being cynical and pessimistic... you are right 95% of the time... the other 5% you are pleasantly surprised... But i think i am right on this one.


In other news ... Thank you for 20 000 pageviews and 300+ watchers...

Has anyone ever done a polygraph before...It's damn weird and stressful...

also gots an interview with De Beers (Diamond Mine)  tomorrow... WISH ME LUCKSIES!!

If you don't like personal rants please don't read this...

I need to get this off my chest and I don't have all that much of other places to do it...


... so,  i have this drag down, screaming fight with my mother. About my inability to get a job. and how i am messing up their lives. Also i am doing it on purpose because i am a lazy bitch and i am too fat to get a job. So i tell her maybe i should get my stuff and live on the street and prostitute myself  and all i get is "don't take to long packing your stuff"

and my brother gets more money to study for more IT courses... after he put them in a crap load of debt for not finishing his Bsc. at university..


To clarify: I have a Hons BA in Industrial Psychology and 7 Years experience in Human Resources. Unfortunately my experience is fairly specific and big companies are my best bet. But Big Companies have to apply AA rules more stringently due to our government and there i am shit out of luck because i am white. I know this because i used to work in a big company and i know how the cookie crumbles. No matter if i am best qualified to do the job. That leaves smaller companies.  Which i cannot get into because i am not a HR generalist (i don't have Payroll experience). I have tried applying for other positions like Secretaries and PA... but they take one look at my qualifications and tell me i am over qualified and they can't pay my salary not matter if i tell them i don't mind for a lower salary. I have applied for waitressing jobs... same thing.

I have applied for positions overseas and South Africa. I have made a few inquiries on these and the consensus is that the relocation costs for me is too much. Because i live where i do.

I am 31. I have no friends except for a few online ones here on DA and elsewhere. I am single. I don't have any prospects of changing the mess that is my life soon. I diagnosed Bipolar II and my self confidence is so low  you can't even see it with a goddamn electron microscope... i am supposed to be on meds but cannot afford them.


i have no idea what to do anymore...other than taking the big punch out.  And before anyone tells me that's not an option. Yes i know that. what you leave behind is much more crap and problems. I know because i had family members that committed suicide.Yes i know its the depression talking. Doesn't change how i feel though. And please don't tell me to get out and meet people...because i can't. I just don't have it in me anymore.


Yes this is a very attentionwhorish kinda journal. sue me.

Cholesterol of art block
Oh how i hate thy obstruction
to creativeness...


(apparently i can still spout utter rubbish when i feel so inclined)...

Anyhoo... bear with me guys. at the moment I open PS... stare at it for 10 mins and then close it again.